What I am writing today might not make any sense to anyone. Heck! It’s not making any sense to me also. But I have to write it because writing is my way of letting things get out of my system. Speech is my way of getting the poison brewing in me to others. :)
It is but, written for one person. Ironically though, I do not know whether that person reads my blog or not. Also, whether it will be understandable even after reading or not to that person as well. In fact it might be better if it is incomprehensible. Who knows!! Sometimes it is better to put some questions out in the cosmic universe and not expect the answers. Yeah, that is what I am doing. Writing crap that I do not expect anyone will understand and then hoping that it shall still be understood. That too, by not all but one person. The beauty is that there are so many people that might mistake that it is this person or that person. (I have had an interesting life, met a lot of people who have had various weird impacts on my life). So, God knows who will understand what!
I am a great debater you know. I became so good by arguing continuously with myself. When arguing with myself I sometimes win and sometimes loose. Let us name the two me as K1 an K2. So, it is almost an even battle most of the time. Every time a topic hits my mind K1 and K2 start arguing. Finally, when the result is reached I am content and satisfied.
Now, the problem.
A particular debate is going on between K1 and K2 and it is not getting resolved. I mean it is like K1 wins every time and then K2 bullies K1 to do its bidding. Then K1 gets strong again and the argument start. This has happened twice before and is now happening again. This third time though I want a result. I want some answer. That is why I am writing this. May be by looking at it from outside I will be able to see something that has been missing.
Has it ever happened to you guys. I know it is a bit vague and weird but the feeling is quite plain I must say.
As for the answer, If I do not get any answer I will do what ma said to me to do. It seems a bit painful but as it is said- “Mama knows best.”