A thought just struck me.
We all die. It is such a common phenomenon that no one ever questions it. As we were born we shall die. It is the only reality; the bottom-line. But what happens after we die. What happens? Do we just vanish? Is there a soul? Is there God?
Just imagine the toiling one does in this world. Since birth all we do is learn, for survival. Be it walking, dancing, learning science, going school or clearing JEE. Every action is just a manifestation of the underlying current which points towards survival in this world which even after so much humanization is nevertheless, still cruel. We need big bucks to live better. I would not use happy as it is a state of mind. But the truth remains the same anyhow. We may not be animals but the rules still are the same. The act has sophisticated itself, that’s all.
I am however straying from my point. The point is that even after doing all this we die. Period.
A housefly has a life of about 2 days. All it does is find food and then a place to lay eggs and then die peacefully. Why peacefully? Because it shall live even after its death in the larvae that will take birth. This was its aim in this world and it completed it successfully. A fly has the bliss of ignorance, we humans unfortunately do not have this luxury. We know that our children are so different from others that we can not call that surviving exactly. (Though the idea is so awesome that I definitely will have a child of my own sperms. My only ticket to survival.)
Anyways what I mean is that we will eventually die and maybe our work will be appreciated afterwards. All good and bad things will be said about us but they do not matter now, do they? I am not a great believer of God. Agnostic by definition and close to atheist practically. So according to me after this heart stops its all over. Finish. The End. Good bye. Sayo-nara. Whatever you want to say. And this scares me. It scares the hell out of me. Because it means that I am a waste. I read about making a difference and changing myself so that people remember me but even when all these lovely words are flowing in my ears I can hear a murmur. This murmur today I realized were three words which my mind played continuously in the back. “You die anyway.”
Sorry for being dramatic but WE DIE ANYWAY!! And what after that. Nothing. Blank. Every happiness, sorrow, jealousy, hate, love is a blur. A useless stroke of hormones mingling in a chemical reaction which comes in a bottle with an expiry date.
If though there is a heaven then I might live, maybe in after-life but still in some form. Even hell seems a better option than oblivion. There is a sentence in ‘Harry Potter’ said by ‘Dumbledore’. “Outright hatred is better than complete ignorance.” Similarly hell seems a better option than no existence at all.
I never thought I would say this but the romantic thought of the existence of a God or maybe multiple Gods is much more pleasing to me than the absence of one. I may call myself atheist, agnostic or by any other name, the truth though is that I am actually hoping for a God because it is only by the survival of this God do I survive death.