Monday, January 31, 2011

Submerged in theory

When was the last time you opened Google. And for what? Let me have a swing at it. It was in this very hour and for solving a query. Queries are an integral part of our life. We have dedicated our whole lives in solving the mysteries the universe has provided us. They are many I know. We are the intelligent beings. We are a whole breed of Sheldons (The big bang theory). I am not condescending here. But sometimes it just is hard for me to understand the reason for this all. What does a wolf teaches it cub? To understand the gospels of Christianity or hadiths of Islam. Maybe understanding the philosophy of Socrates or literary genius of Shakespeare. Do you think the young ants learn their communist behavior from Karl Marx or beehives hum with the poetry of Ghalib. Nothing of that sorts. Only the baser things of life are taught by these animals. How to survive and how to make the best out of that life has to offer.

This is something that we are taught in a very sophisticated and complex way: by schools and colleges. I am on the verge of completing this journey. One more year and I shall be officially considered ready to live in the wilderness. Only, I am scared shit. I don't know anything about that world. Except of course what I have read. And this is something that I do not trust much; being a writer myself I know how much can the truth be distorted even in non-fiction. Looking back I realize that I too am a Sheldon. Not ready for the outer world. Immense knowledge about it, complete understanding but no experience.

I am reading a series: The Wheel of Time. Interesting, obviously, it has a character Lioal: an Ogier. I sometimes relate myself to him. I have studied everything but when it comes to facing the truth I am blank. When was I let in their to know the customs of the wilderness. Always held in captivity what chance do I have to captivate others. Maybe I am panicking but at least a simulation might have helped. I watch TED videos and their criticism on the study pattern of the world along with the experiences of my seniors tells me that I am in for a big surprise if I expect this knowledge to work. It makes me think.

Animals have a better course curriculum than us.At least they learn on the field and use this learning all their life. Their training is hard but it is not submerged in theory.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

To cloth or not to cloth!!

Clothes are one of the most important inventions of mankind. In fact they have got a history attached to them. They were the first direct outcome of that evil forbidden fruit that was eaten by the oh-I-am-a-dumb-bimbo-Eve and I-do-what-the-bimbo-says-jackass-Adam, with all due respect. The wisdom was granted to them by the great tree and the first thing that they realized was that they are well, naked. They run for the neighboring bushes to hide from, you guessed it right, each other. This is quite strange considering the fact that after that they actually saw each other naked many a times; they had how many babies?
Clothes are a legacy given to us, by Adam and Eve. Crappy relatives to have, still they are our relatives. You do not through away the legacy of your aunt Muriel when she died. You want to, I know but you don't. Especially when the gift ain't half as bad. After all even if it started as a savior from shame but now acts as a hero for us in so many other dimensions. From heat, dust, cold (weather in general), helps in peacocking and of course gives us what I would call a banner. To show which teams we are on or for that matter are we in business mood or are having fun. Our attires tell others everything. Imagine a women's football match with no clothes to find out the teams of those sweaty naked girls.
Oh! I am sorry. Just went into an imagination spree. Thankfully came back from the dream before it became a sticky one. So back to topic. Clothes are important in all respect. They help in seduction too, you know. If there is nothing to hide what will you reveal. Where is the thrill, isn't it.
Of course the way the girls wear clothes now-a-days it seems that all the wisdom from the forbidden fruit is long gone and the paradise was lost in vain. Such a waste. I am not saying I am some saint here. Frankly speaking the speed with which the girl's helm line is going up and how much the boys want their pants to go down I feel like God should actually accept us back. We are not Adam and Eve. If given the opportunity we will gladly go naked in that heavenly garden of his. There are whole societies who promote this lack of clothing. Even good causes are approaching towards this idea. Peta obviously likes the God's way. This sect though is small. We have got a whole large section of people who promote clothes and I am not talking about fashion magazines or designers (they are in fact God's spies behind enemy lines), I am talking about fashion houses and and Cloth mills. Also those religious branches, I already have a million reasons to dislike. I have mentioned a few in my earlier article here.
So, in this world where clothes liking people are in such overwhelming majority there is a shameful admission I want to make. This whole article is frankly just a guilt-ridden one. I with all humbleness and regret admit that I am not a very good heir. I do not like clothes very much. The lesser the better- that's my motto. My favorite season i summer and it has got nothing to do with the new movie '500 days of Summer'. It is mostly water melon and lack of clothes. I dislike winters for pretty much just one reason- too many clothes. In fact I was just taking a bath (in the middle of the night, in light winters) and it took me more than an hour to wear my clothes back. Just didn't feel like it. Any of you get that feeling after a bath?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The grass is greener on the other side.

And then there was one. I think that is one of the line from the bible. Now I am not a great fan of God-fiction. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it a lot. The mythologies, the stories and the whole getting the new ones in the world is awesome and intriguing. I just don't like the label they are sold with. Frankly, they are in the wrong section. Either they should be in the fiction section or the inspirational one, the one where the life improvement shit is kept. They are really inspirational, for one. They teach all the good moral values and are entertaining if seen from that perspective. The problem arises when people start believing this.

Do you know what the unwed mother of a boy says to her in real life- "You were given to me by God. You are the son of God."

Or, what is the subtitle of the latest motivational book- "This is the last book you will ever need."

I can probably write this about a lot more but I am bored by this. There are religions everywhere, spawning faster than the engineering colleges in India. Every religion tells a different story but oh my! they have the same message. Love, Care and etc. Any historian in his right mind will scoff at that and trust me any staunch historian might just get a stroke. Politicians on the other hand might have a tiny orgasm. To me, they all maybe to the same destiny but the route is damn screwed I tell you. One is full of potholes. Other, has got no road at all. One needs plenty of speed-breakers and how can that one have so many tolls. They are all demanding expenses to a destination that for one thing might turn out to be the gold sack at the end of the rainbow. What if no God exists?

And come the Atheists. Oh! they are the smarty-pants. They are the smarter race. Science explains everything and who needs a God anyway. There ain't no heaven or hell, just this earth.
Well, atheists lemme ask you something. What if, there is a God? At the end of the rainbow there is a pot of gold. The sky may not be falling, but nothing stops the meteorites, does it. You do run from a hail-storm. Science explains everything... after assuming a whole load of crap like 26 dimensions or lots and lots of strings. There is a constant named Planck's constant (h). It has a value so small that.. I do not even have a simile for that. And still if it becomes any bigger or just goes to zero the whole world will collapse. Of course the scientific one. Ours is up and running like a wild horse. Do you really have that much trust on that tiny little 'h'? Not so smart are we now.

Agnostic on the other hand are truly smart. They are the Switzerland in the whole world war. They believe that we do not have enough proof for either. They basically say that they will jump the boat whichever wins. Nice strategy in the short run. In the long run, not so much. Trust me guys, when the whole dust settles you will be the pussies who could not make up their mind. God if exists will kick the crap out of you even more when you will say- "But we were waiting for you to show up." And if there is no God, congratulations you have spend a life time without any stand or any backbone for that matter.
I have been an agnostic and to all you are intrigued by this let me tell you something, be atheist or a theist instead. At least they are fun.

Of course, I never understood the concept of loving all religions (including atheist and agnostic). I can of course comprehend hating them all. If five things are in separate directions you can go in just one or maybe none but not all. If there are five roads to a place, you can choose any one, carve your own new path but in no humanly possible way walk them all. You can ignore them but not embrace them. But then it is just me- full of hope and sunshine.

And then there was one- Me.
What am I? I am..


I don't care if God exists or not. My decisions are not influenced by this particular parameter. I tried being all at one point or the other thinking that maybe the grass is greener on the other side but apparently there was a great drought in human society at some point and all that is left is some hay and lots of dust.