Pain.. More Pain..

I have to see more pain you know..

Joy I have seen unbounded, untouched and unfathomed.

I have felt love and no other joy is above it.

Thus pain is now what I seek.

All my life I have seen

Around me,

Chants of pain, cries and tears.

None have but touched me.

Am I so inhuman. Or plain selfish.

Maybe its the shield,

Shield of love.

This bounty that I have.

In no less amount than infinity I must say.

Protects me from the pain without my knowledge.

But time has reached to feel the unknown.

Time to touch what the others feel.

Time to cry, cry in vain.

Having a life-altering pain.

Am asking for too much I know.

More than I can hold.

Life-altering hence it shall be.

Will face it with my bravest face,

That I promise.

So, what do you think?

Has my judgment day arrived?

Or do I have to wait more?

Forever I guess, for the pain I seek.

Give me the pain I plea.

At least half of what happiness I feel.

I feel a thief, you know,

Stolen others’ happiness I have,

Giving them my share of grief.

I want my share back.

I want my pain back.

 

PS- Today I looked back through the time tunnel and realized what my life has been. I have no regrets, no sorrows, no experience I would not like to have. I have a smile for which I take no credit. It is a gift, my family’s gift to me. I have never had a pain that could drown my happiness or change me. Thank you ma, papa and niks. Love you always, even when I am crazy.