Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Learning 'bout ads

Well, you might have noticed the new additions. I have placed ads on my blog. So the obvious question is WHY?? The answer is simple, to earn money. I know its too lame..

My blog is not resource oriented. It will not extract any revenue, I know all that stuff. Actually, it is because of my lust towards learning new things. I wanted to know how actually adsense works and only way to learn it is to do it.

So I decided to play with them for a while. So anyone who is disgusted by those petty ads, I am sorry. I hope that no one will come out and actually beat me.


Monday, December 15, 2008

Lone Rider..

Walking away towards solitude

Far, far away it is now.

Even now though vibes I feel

Deep, deep in myself

This journey is taking me.

Where am I now?

Where I was before?

How does it matter though?

Loneliness, darkness and mystery;

Beautiful and humbling is this journey.

It is changing me 'tis true

In ways I never knew.

People see light at the end of the tunnel.

Life is beautiful when the road ends.

One journey is they say most important.

To death it leads; to new life some say.

That journey is a long one I know.

If comparison becomes a neccesity.

A trip is what am doing

In front of the colossus destination

Death whom we all name.

But still I feel

This journey is more significant.

In me I see

What even a God's vision might lack.

Love-Hatred, Truth-n-Lies

Shadows and light so bright.

But what sobers me the most

I feel and know first time in life

The true meaning of being alive.

This trip to myself 

Enlightens me the most.

Journey to death can wait a while.

Let me have a partner besides.

To me is where I belong first.

A journey to me is where 

This lone rider must go first.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Nothing to write

These are one of the usual days when I have nothing to write or rather blabber about. Saw a movie with friends- The Transporter 3. No one enjoyed it much but at least it was good time pass. It reminded everyone of hindi movies and no one was happy about it in particular. Logics were left conveniently by the makers and ...

But I am not writing a movie review here. Go and watch the movie or listen to the more experts around. I do not have anything to write but let me update the blog about my this dismal situation and how it arose.

What happens is that if I am not busy then I get bored. Busy means doing something very exhaustive. Alas! many times comes a situation when we are not killing ourselves. It is these situations when my body and mind take a break and go on a paid leave. I can not even think properly let alone write anything.

God's cruelest game with me (if God exist) is I can not even enjoy life if I am not working. Holidays become punishment instead of boon. He laughs sitting up there (tired of plotting against me, I guess) while I flip between toiling and getting bored. Right now I  am getting bored and thus my writing skills are suffering. Wish I had something to do..

P.S.- Anyone getting any slightest hint that I am a hard working guy be cautioned. I am one of the laziest people you will ever come across. Its just that if laziness becomes my condition then I can not unlazy myself.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


I love to wish. And I am not joking about it. This post is what my heart says and if anyone ever feels that he or she may want to make fun of it, then please do. I don't mind when people make fun of my feelings. OK! I mind but I understand them, because I do the same.

I just saw the movie- 'Sorry Bhai' and it made me think. Actually I think it is the combo of 'Dasvidaniya' and 'Sorry Bhai' that has got my wheels running. First 'Sorry Bhai'- I really liked the climax of the movie and the ending too. It was correct of Sanjay Suri to leave Chitragandha for Sharman. Love might not be the strongest force in the world( read God) but it is pretty powerful and in absence of it, or rather it being present in his brother and fiance, it was the best choice. But it is not this thing that got me think. I was wondering about the decision of our hero & heroine. They decided to give this feeling or whatever was brewing a try instead of acting on what world thinks. I believe that marriages are made in heaven or as I am agnostic I shoud say-" I believe that almost all people together deserve each other". I do not believe that there is something like a mismatch. Yes, people might end up in wrong relationships but if they think they deserve better and are still together then they don't. And whatever the world might think if a couple is together happy, they deserved each other and the happiness even if there is a huge age difference or religion/caste barrier or anything like in 'Sorry bhai'.

There's was a good decision( read risk) to NOT sacrifice their love and atleast tell the truth. It destroyed a couple of relationships I agree but it was better this way else it would have been just three wasted lives.I always value honesty above everything. I have decided that I will take risks in my life from now on. I have always been a safe player. I do not take much risks in my life but I guess it is time to give it a shot. Also at 20 I can afford to take a few risks. And these risks will be honest and true attempts not fake tries.

Second thing which I thought was after watching 'Dasvidaniya'. Life truly is short. I mean I look back in life of 20 short years and realize that they went very fast. Really-really fast. In fact I have spent one and a half year in IIT now and it was just a while ago that I gave JEE. So, instead of doing things which mean nothing to me I should do things that make me happy and give my life a meaning I and not the world understand.

Combining the two actually gave my life a new meaning. I have a lot of dreams but I do not execute many of them. I have been waiting for a perfect timing; some sort of enlightenment I guess. 'Dasvidaniya' made me realize that waiting can be dangerous as I might end up doing only that. 'Sorry Bhai' made me realize that I should not be afraid to fulfill my wishes or at least give an honest attempt to them.

I have many wishes. It is time to execute upon them without fear, with honesty before it is too late.

Monday, November 17, 2008


I truly don't know why or what i am going to write. I mean sure I know how I feel-'terrible' but how to express the feeling without explaining the reason is the problem. I wish that I could do something about it but this is the one of the few times that I do not have control over how things are going to turn out.

I wish someone could tell me where should I go to find the solution. I do not know how much I can sustain this condition. See the problem is that I am a man of action. I play on my instinct and they have never failed me as of now so my faith in them is huge. And now all I am doing is waiting for someone else to take a decision. This 'someone' needs time to take the decision which I totally understand but my instinct is shrieking like a werewolf that wait is a waste as the result is already leaked. It knows that the result will be negative; the worst part is that my instinct says that it is for the good of both the parties and my conscience agrees with it.

Free-will is what make us take decision, isn't it? I am not taking any action because if I take the decision then the other person's free-will is lost. But if I do not take decision thinking so then my free-will is lost. I do not know what to do- confused as I am. May be I should trust my instinct and conscience but my conscience loves me and is biased towards me.

I am sorry; I guess I forgot to tell you that my conscience lives outside me. Something like in the fairy tales where the life of the evil demon lives in the parrot. Nevertheless, one thing is sure that pain is what is written in my future for sometime now. If I wait and the result comes out as my instinct predicts then I will be broken (well, almost broken; I am pretty tough emotionally). Again, waiting two months for a decision is already killing me. The decision, if is taken by me then it will give pain to both of us.

Everything I have written is quite incoherent I know but bear with me as I am not in my complete senses- without booze- and my emotions are practically on a roller coaster ride. Love, Hate, Pain, Sadness, Thrill, Joy (no, not joy), suffering all are coming and going. I never thought that I will be in such a condition when this incident really arises but then when is life predictable. I have always maintained that I like this about life and I will still say that it is good that life provides us with so many twists and turns.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

My first Editorial.

Renaissance or as it means in French- 'Rebirth'- used to bring to my mind history and my mind wandered off to Europe of 15th century. Now it brings the thought of IIT Roorkee, my campus, my hostel and my friends. This has been the effect or I should say euphoria of RENAISSANCE. This magazine has seen more years here than us who have been given the responsibility to help it grow from a small plant into a huge tree of wisdom and shelter. And we hope that our efforts give it the necessary nutrients to not only outlast our stay here but in fact reach the pinnacle of survival i.e. immortality.

            You might have heard of the bird ‘Phoenix’. It is a mythical creature which dies with flames coming out of its body and is reborn from the ashes. We would like you to remember that bird whenever you see the logo of RENAISSANCE. Also we would like you to remember our magazine whenever you hear about this majestic creature- the biggest example of renaissance.

            Every time Renaissance is published it undergoes a metamorphosis, flavoured according to the new team but one thing that will and can never change is its inner spirit. The spirit which is the source of inspiration for us and gives us a desire to seek new horizons and conquer new skies. To this spirit we dedicate our tagline-“The Flight of Desire”.

             We would like to applaud the efforts of all the writers who have contributed in the moulding of this magazine. Talent of the new batch has given us both a great pleasure and a great pain. Pleasure to see that RENAISSANCE will go in safe hands in the future and pain to remove the good articles which deserved a space here. Nevertheless, we hope that the readers cherish this effort on our part.

             In the end I would like to make a small request to our readers. Please do read the first article “The angst of the ‘Ance’” by our senior S. Karthik. It is about a small mistake that we all have been making and the magazine suffering.

[ The angst of the 'Ance' can be read on the blog]

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The World of Remix..

Looking at this picture I realize that what proper remixing can do. It is a world of remix-you just can not escape it, can you?
Image Credit: oneBlog

Friday, October 10, 2008

Relationship thread... or muscle

Rahiman dhaga prem ka mat toro chatkaye.
Tute se phir na jure, jure gaanth par jaaye.

It means-love is like a thread, never break it
                 broken thread never joins, even if it does a knot emerges.

A well known verse from saint Rahim. I have been a believer in this verse since ever. But.. (I will never understand why I have so many buts) nowadays this belief of mine is subsiding. Or rather a new thought is emerging. What if.. 

What if the relationships are not actually like threads but muscles. They if given a bit of stretch do not break. Rather they get exercise and their strength increases and they are able to bear more beating next time. This is my hypothesis for relationships. They do break as muscles tear but giving them a few jerks is also necessary.

Like, why is it said that distances increases love between people. Also fights are actually proof of affections. These are nothing but exercises. Like I believe-"If something doesn't kill you, then it makes you stronger.-Friedrich Nietzsche". 

If this is true then relations which have faced some hardships are actually stronger than those which were bred on soft beds. But the question is-'how much strain?' How much strain can a relationship bear till it finally breaks down. I do not know. May be that is why putting stress should be done as cautiously as overclocking is done. One should do it slowly with baby steps. Its better to be slow in such matters else the same thing will happen in both the cases-damage.

If this theory of mine is true (I believe it is) then all committed people, its time to give all your relationships a nudge. Improve them by giving them some exercise else they will become loose and boring. How?? I don't know, do something which makes your beloved angry and then ask for an apology. Do something kinky and then if he/she(she is more probable) is shocked or something then try to cover up the situation. Say sorry. It will help in two ways. First, the relationship will improve. Second, he/she will not react with same intensity the next time you say the same thing. In other words you will take your relationship to a higher level.

Just one precautionary note:-'Do not overdo it, else it might break.' A teared muscle may join but a ripped muscle is.. well

Thursday, October 9, 2008

without a title..

Khwab kayi dekhen hain maine

Kayi khwab mere toote hain

Kayi hasratein rahi adhoori

Fana huae jo khwab unka gham nahi

Shayad kuchh sapno ki koi manzil nahi

Par haqeekat bhi kaun haseen hui

Jo tamannaen hui poori

Vo bhi kahan meri hui

Jinko pala maine deke apna lahu

Vo hasratein bhi sauteli bani

Mere khwab jo poore huae

Unhone dasa hai mujhe zyada

Itna ki ab sapne dekhne ki himmat nahi

Kabhi dua bhi kar baethta hun khuda se

Mere khwabon ko haqeekat na bakshe

Fir magar aata hai khayal

Agar hoti khuda ki itni azmat

To kyon vo hame bakhshta

Jo galti hui hai us se

Kyon na pehle use badalta

Shayad vo ye khwab nahi dekhta

Daraya hai ek puri khwahish ne itna

Aur khwab dekhne ki

Ab khuda mein takat nahi… 

Why me??

Last night I screwed up big time.Do not ask me what happened. Why? Because I will not tell you, that's why ;). But the only thing that came to  my mind was "Why me??" Why have the great power of making a mess of perfection given to me by the almighty( remember I am not atheist). Give me heaven for a day and you will find hell the next day.

Waaaiiit a bit. Isn't this the same thing a guy named Adam is famous for. If I remember correctly this guy was given a perfect world and he screw it up big time and...    and we are his successors, aren't we. Sooo that's why i did it. Its in my blood, isn't it? That's why I hate perfection. I just can not be perfectly happy because.. c'mon its perfection guys and our nature can not tolerate this. This completely explains our curiosity for any and everything. This explains why we have different religions and factions. Why are we of different colors (read race) ? It helps us. According to theory of evolution we evolved this way so that we can fight and live 'sadly ever after'. 

Finally I got the answer for my great mishaps (not only this one but I always do this) and seeing myself not alone I feel calm. Though I would really hope that in course of evolution this habit of ours subside. For how long will we make hell out of the happiness which we get. 


Saturday, October 4, 2008

Ek khwahish

Yun bhi kabhi mera saamna zamaane se ho
Jeet ho meri, khuda bhi chaahe unmein se ho.

Aana hai waqt ek nayi shuruvat ka magar
Ho aagaaz agar to ek khatme se ho.

Chaand ke daag jo nazar aate hain hamein
Shayad hamara saamna ek aayine se ho.

Ladte hain apno se apne haq ke liye
Kaash kabhi saamna hamara gairon se ho.

Jahaan pahunche hain hum ab is jahaan mein
Dekho ab kya fark maseeh ke kehne se ho..

Mil jaaye

Sawaal ab dil mein kuchh zyada hi hain
Kahin kabhi koi khuda mujhe bhi mil jaaye.

Jannat-o-dozakh ke baare mein bhi kuchh pata chale
kuchh apne dil ki jaankari mujhe bhi mil jaaye.

Yun to chehre pe dikhti hai muskaan har waqt
Ek baar dil ko mere kuchh sukoon bhi mil jaaye.

Dil mein mere kayii raaz hain batane wale
Kaash koi ek bharosemand bashar bhi mil jaaye..

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Can Not Be An Atheist.

If you will see my Orkut profile you will see, religion- Agnostic. The truth is I do not understand the meaning of being an agnostic (OK! don't look at me like that I'm gonna explain. Now read on-). The reason that I have put this up is because of the other options. My birth religion is Hinduism- which I do not follow.

I make jokes on religions and Gods. I rarely (read never) go to temples and following the rituals is off the window. I have also read on many other religions like Christianity, Islam, Sikhism, Buddhism, Jainism and a few more but none of them can I follow. Let me tell you why->

Christianity says sex is sin. Now I don't hold them in court for that; I just would like to say that I am gonna commit this sin so what's the point in following a religion if you cannot follow it properly.

Islam as told to me by my friend (He is a staunch muslim) is a religion with military like rules making a person stronger and all. Well, let me just say one thing- I can not live without music and it is banned in Islam.

Sikhs have to keep long hair which I can not do. Buddhism and Jainism are preachers of non-voilence and I am a non-vegetarian. Besides this, God save the guy who flirts with my sister. In short can't follow those two either.

In fact taking into account everything my religion suits me best. But I do not follow it as one should. So, according to most of religions (barring my own I believe) I will go to hell. So I must be an atheist, isn't it? But I am not. According to me atheist believe that there is no God and they follow no religion. But believing that there is no God in itself is following a religion. How can they (the atheists) be so sure that there is no God?

I do not believe that there is no God. My reason- same as atheists. They are followers of 'Science' and science says "WHY?". Why do you say there is God? True. Whenever there is something happening science says, ask the question- Why? I agree with atheists on this.

My only query is- whenever science is inventing something the question I usually hear is- "Why not?" Now for once instead of earlier question if this question is applied the whole scenario changes-
                  "God Exist"                                      "Do God Exist?"
                  "Why?"                                             "Why Not?"

There are a million thing which science can not explain. A lot of theories which can go wrong. So trusting science is not as different as trusting God.

And that is why I am an agnostic. I can not follow any given religion but, that includes atheism too.

Monday, September 22, 2008

A Tale To Tell

"There are no ghosts in this world. There are no ghosts in this world. Absolutely no ghosts," repeating this thought a million times I closed the door of my tube-lit room. Now another daunting task awaited me. The switches for lights were on opposite side from the bed. My room isn't a big room but it goes absolute dark when the light goes off. At night the only source of light is a window from where I can see a distance. At first floor, the view is not exactly what i will call beautiful. Trees surround the area and a few of them decided to cover my window. In night it actually can scare one. So I shut 'em off before going to sleep.

Sleeping in my room is not as easy as it is in other rooms. Constructed by a creative horror fan, the room can be used as a good location for ghosts to reside (which I again repeat do not exist). I went to sleep with a peaceful mind and a bit raised heartbeat (usual).

At 'bout 2:30 in the night I felt someone looking at me. I was really tired and sleepy and with lazy eyes tried to look around casually searching my glasses. As soon as I put on my glasses, there was only one picture in my mind photographed by my eyes. A woman with long black hair falling over her shoulders looking at me with unfocused eyes; an irregular look, with a smile on her face. A cunning smile which can now be erased from my memory by death only. The window I had shut was open and on first floor a woman was standing (or floating) behind it. I could do nothing but cry out loud for help.

And so I woke up startled and shocked. Sweat all over my body, I frantically started searching for my glasses. As soon as I found them the first place my eyes went were the closed window. The only thing was , it was not closed anymore. I looked at the clock- it was 2:35 A.M. I wanted to scream and call out my parents. Somehow voice failed me. Lying there in bed I tried my fullest to run away from this woeful room, but...

How long I lied there before sleep overtook me again I do not know. Only thing is, I woke up next with sun sending its good morning through that window. Two years have now passed since that incident and I will still say- "Ghosts do not exist. (I hope)." 

This is how the story was narrated to me. I decided to use first-person as I feel this is a better way of connecting. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

'RENAISSANCE'-A New Adventure.

Every now and then comes a time when we all review ourselves (exams are one such opportunity-only thing is, reviews are really bad). While writing I feel the same way. This time its about RENAISSANCE- the magazine where this habit of mine took the baby steps. I have been writing since ... ever, I guess, but when what a person writes get recognition then the pride and joy one feels is something I cannot .. no would not describe. You have to feel it; this magazine gave me that joy. I realized that what I write has some value and it was a boost to the confidence that I guess will never subside. Today, while writing in this blog I again feel the part of this culture that our campus has generated over the years. To be the Head Editor of this magazine gave me great pleasure. 



A View from an Editor


After all the things I said earlier I would like to tell how I am-or rather we are-feeling as editors. Our job is to get the articles from everyone, choose the best ones and give it to the design team for printing purpose. Sounds simple na. Now let me tell how exactly it is..


It is like playing a game. 


First stage-

Ask the juniors..

first month, you do not know the name of many of them and conversation is minimal( intro nahi hua hai,that is why) and now you have to explain them the Renaissance.


MAJOR TASK-convince them to give articles..

BONUS-you get articles on time and enough in numbers.

HURDLE-motivate them for originality(and yet getting quality)


I do not know why everyone is convinced that they are bad writers. Even the most famous writers do not claim to be the best.


Second stage-

Read 'em all..

articles come, you read and your heart bleeds. The first lot I got almost killed me off. Besides a few all were, let us say.. below par. None was exceptional that I could pat the guy's back.


MAJOR TASK-find atleast few good articles..

BONUS-get an exceptional treat..


SPECIAL TASK-find the copiers(else they find a place in the magazine BEWARE!!)


But let us not frustrate over that, some articles are good(second lot showed substantial improvement) and then hopefully another lot is on the way.. 


Third Stage-

The Seniors saga..

we are lazy, I accept that but hello! guys this is our magazine, OUR MAGAZINE if I might add.


MAJOR TASK-get the 2,3,4 yearites to pick up the pen.

BONUS-a sure shot article promised.

HURDLE-If you get an article,none.But,if you get an article.

SPECIAL-your own year is the laziest.wake them up.



I have played the game up to third stage only so I do not know what lies ahead. Will tell you all as soon as I find it. Besides there are other expansion packs to this game namely-

1. Get the spon.

2. Where's the site?

Other players are playing these games and hopefully they are having fun..

I am having a lot of fun playing this game despite sometimes the stages are a bit tough.


more info on the game and expansions later...


Monday, September 15, 2008

Ek Gazal

Tujhe dekhkar noor ke katre bhi hain hairan se
Roshni ke moti dhoondte hain naya kaam pareshaan se

Koshish mein tere raks ki barabari ki
Choor hain saari apsarain bhi thakaan se

Tera khayal aa jaata hai zehen mein
Jab bhi guzarta hun ab gulistaan se

Khayalon ka apne rehnuma bana diya hai tujhe
Baahar fir bhi ghumte hain tujhse anjaan se

Seher ke saath aayegi tu suna hai maine
Baitha hun palkein bichhaye apne dar pe shaam se

Kuchh rumaani khayalon ne le li hai paidayish
Nahin inkaar mujhe muhabbat ke imkaan se. 

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Dreams or Nightmares???

Once as I was browsing through comic strips(one of my hobbies) I came across one of "Dennis the Menace". In it Dennis was telling his friend how nightmares are actually better than dreams.Why?His answer was -"It is so because after a dream we feel sad and after nightmare we feel happy that it was just a nightmare". I think it is so because of the after-effects(aftereffects-booze anyone),meaning that what use is a dream if it makes you unhappy and unsatisfied. Aren't nightmares better; they not only make us realise that there are worse conditions than in which we are but also give happiness a meaning.Isn't this said that beauty only has value till there is ugliness, good is what it is because we fear bad. So isn't it better we experience this sadness or fear in our dream rather than in real life.

All religions propagate 'contentment' as the source of true happiness. Maybe these nightmares are God's way of preaching this thought. Then it means that God is talking to us by the source of nightmares;man I would rather have nightmares, at least I am talking to the 'GOD'.

Leaving philosophy aside, I believe dreams are an integral part of one's life and when we all guys sit in night during our late night chatting("bucker" as they call in my campus-dunno why) dreams are wonderful thing to discuss. Specially when you hear the nightmares; man they are awesome or what, one actually can feel the shivers sometime just hearing them(great bed-time stories I may say).

Then there are dreams which we see while we are  awake but let us talk about them some other time(they are not the part of this great Dennis-Theory:-you should always see good dreams). This poem is dedicated to this theory on a comic strip. I believe that everything in life teaches me to live-even comic strips. So I start my blog with dreams.

Dreams come, Dreams go
Like water in the river flow
Some are so strange in nature
They overcome reality in stature.

I had one such dream last night
Which I remember, sharp and bright
It was a nightmare than dream
So much so, its a wonder I didn't scream.

There was death,deceit and strife
Like I was in someone else's life
When I woke up it was clear
That its a dream and nothing to fear.

One thought though, lingers in my mind
When I am away from daily grind
Among good dreams and bad
Which are actually happy and which sad?

Nightmares are sad we all hear
B'cos in them death feels near
But I have a different thought
Which by all cannot be bought.

Good dream is actually a nightmare
I know it is a thought really rare
But if you think my way
You will know what I want to say.

After a nightmare we thank God
And feel happy with what we've got
A good dream makes us sad
Also unhappy with what we've had.