Friday, January 9, 2015

This time with emotions...

I have time to grow up. I do not just know that because of all the pain that I am feeling right now but also because of all the pain I am causing right now. Ironically, both are intricately related. I am the one causing pain to myself. There is a couplet by Javed Akhtar:

Khud hain apne safar ke dushwari.
Apne pairon ke aable hain hum..

[Myself am my journey's hurdle/I am my feet's blisters]

This has always resonated with me. However, in recent times I had the feeling that I am now all grown up and mature and this is not going to happen again. It will happen again. Not because I am weak or because that is what fate has decreed upon me.

This will happen again because despite everything, sometimes, I will still act like a human being and will react emotionally to situations when I should not. Sometimes, the human in me will overpower me. I will have to find a way to either civilise that human or I will have to find alternative ways to pacify and rationalise with myself.

I have to find more commitment and conviction for my goals. That might work. That just might work.

It is one solution that has many possibilities and all of them good. 

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